I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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