Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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