the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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