my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
