So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
