She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
