Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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