I love black thongs
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
