Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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