508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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