yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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