I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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