idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
