He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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