I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
id be glad to
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
