Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
