Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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