Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
