Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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