Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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