Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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