Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
