So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
