my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
