She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All the doctor said was why
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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