You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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