I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
