We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
