i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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