I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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