Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The air taste purple.
Randomize