She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
