He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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