i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
