at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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