you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
