Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
