i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
