My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
