Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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