I want to stick my p in your. b.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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