Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
