Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
