how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
