As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
