I accidentally burped into my bong.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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