No awkward lesbian experiences without me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
