If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
