i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
