my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
