Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
