just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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