what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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