Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
sex in a hospital.. check
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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