Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
