just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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