wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
