Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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