He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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