It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
