Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
