The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
