Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
