he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
