my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
