I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
