in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
