WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
