It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
