Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
