But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
