i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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