Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize